Today we will discuss how to stay focused and consistent.
First, I’m going to share how consistency has helped me in some unlikely ways. Which may give you some hope. Next, I’m going to share with you how to become distraction proof. Finally, just from coaching a lot of entrepreneurs over the last 10 years, I’m going to share why you actually struggle with being consistent.
How has consistency helped me in unlikely ways?
I’m going to share with you a couple examples of my life and how consistency helped me out. I really think that this will give you some inspiration and hope, because maybe there’s an area in your life that you wish you were more consistent at, let me help you with that.
I remember this story like it was yesterday. I was working for a county government and my boss, Maggie said, “Hey, can you give a little overview to the department this week on your project you’re working on?”
I’m like, “overview…what do you mean?”
She goes, “Well, you know, just put together something and stand up and share it with everyone.“
She was essentially asking me to do my very first ever public speech. Now, it wasn’t public, necessarily. But it was me delivering information to a small group of people, and it freaked me the hell out. I went home. I was freaking out…I didn’t sleep for two or three days. I went to the library, I got Speaking for Dummies, I got the Idiot’s Guide to Presenting. I was terrified and dreading this thing. Looking back, I didn’t really “why” at the time, but looking back who I was back then is, I was afraid of being found out because I really felt like I was one of, if not the hardest worker in the department. But I didn’t feel as smart as everyone else. I thought everyone else was smarter. All of them had college degrees, I didn’t. I was just very nervous about being found out. I thought that I was the dumb one. I thought everyone else was smarter, but I would outwork them. That was my way of thinking back then.
The morning of going in there, I remember looking at the phone, and I’m just like I’m going to call in. I was so tempted to do that. But something in me was like, No, you got to go and do this. I go into it. One of the things in the speaking books that I read and was mentioned in all of them is, if you mess up, no one knows. Right? If you mess up, nobody knows because they don’t know what you were planning to say. I really clung to that idea. I give the speech. The speech was about me doing a wireless project. I was in the IT department for Collier County government. I was doing a Wyler’s project for code enforcement. I deliver the information. During said presentation, I developed a stutter. I spill water down my all of my clothe but I finished, I did it, I showed up. Yay.
Afterwards, my boss says, “Ray, hey…can you can you come in my office?”
She shut the door and she asked me, “Ray, are you on drugs?“
It was so bad that my boss…. that I really looked up to I mean, this was the favorite boss I had ever- still to this day I have ever had. So bad she thought that I was on drugs. She wanted to help me. I remember sitting in my car, it was a green, forest Hyundai Sonata and I had my hands on the wheel. It’s five o’clock and I’m just like sitting there. I’m thinking, I’m just going to quit, I’m just going to leave, I’ll never come back. They now all know clearly that I’m an idiot. I’m not the brightest bulb. I have been found out, off to another job where they don’t know yet that I’m not the brightest bulb. I hope that you can get it. That really is what I thought. Something in me was like, No, you have to tackle this thing.
Instead of quitting that day, I drove to the local college. I had zero college, right? I had gone from high school to jobs. I went to the local college. And I said, “Put me in every speaking class and class where I have to speak in front of everyone” and the register said, “Well, that’s normally the last classes people take but okay.” I took a speech class I took critical thinking, I enrolled in Toastmasters, I decided that I was going to beat this fear and I was going to get better at it. It was about a year and a half later, I was speaking on the Vegas Strip at Planet Hollywood. I had left that job, I had gone out on my own, I was speaking for different organizations, and my life has never been the same.
I have since shared the stage with crazy people, Magic Johnson, Tony Robbins, Pitbull, Gary Vaynerchuk, multiple times, and I’ve shared with the best minds on planet Earth. But that’s not where I started. Being consistent, consistently working on my craft, consistently showing up despite my fear, tapping into courage and doing the work is what made me world class. I now get paid very nicely as a keynote speaker. I have companies that hire me almost every single month to come and train their sales reps or train their employees. Know that whatever it is that you want to accomplish, you can get there if you’re consistent.
Let’s hear from you.
All right, before we go on to the next point, I would love to hear from you. What are you wanting to be more consistent at? I may have experience in that. Would love to hear from and hear more about your journey. Drop me a comment down below.
How do you become distraction proof?
I remember when I was the number one income earner of a network marketing company, and was just rockin and rollin over there. I remember someone said something to me. They said, “Ray, man, how do you stay so focused? You’re constantly at the top of the leaderboard, you’re the number one income earner. Seems like you just never stop, you’re always progressing and growing like, how do you stay so focused?”
My answer that kind of came out of me was, “the vision of who I want to become is more powerful than my ability to be distracted.”
If you break that down, it means that if you’re getting distracted, it’s only because you haven’t created the version of yourself that you actually really want to be, because if you did, those distractions would not land. They would just fly right past, sure they would still be there. But they would fly right past you. They wouldn’t knock you off course. The major key here is, who do you want to be? What do you want? How do you want to be known? Do you want to be known as that great father? Do you want to be known as that amazing entrepreneur or speaker or writer, author, whatever?
Create the vision of who you want to be, and really start to understand what that person would be doing? How would that person show up? What would they be thinking? What would they be reading? Right? How would they be interacting with people? Dr. Joe Dispenza says, “create more memories of your future, then focus on the memories of the past.” The more solid, the vision of who you want to become is, the less likely you’re ever going to get distracted.
Why might you struggle with being consistent?
This is a big one, you might want to write this down. But I found it to be 100% true, I’ve never found it to not be true. I’ve coached hundreds and hundreds of people through this sort of thing. Here’s what it is. The reason you’re not consistent, is you’ve drawn the wrong conclusion to the success of that thing that you’re after based on an observation you made as a kid, right? That’ right, that says like, wow, what’s he saying here? Let me let me give you some examples.
Everything I’m about to share with you is all from real world examples of coaching people and discovering what’s slowing them down. So if you had a parent or parents that were wealthy, did really well, but they ignored you, it’s very possible that you’re going to struggle with being consistent. If you’re chasing money, because you’ve drawn the conclusion that with more money, you’ll have to ignore your kids. With more money, you’ll become a lesser parent, and you do not want your kids to experience what you experience. You will constantly be thrown off course. You will constantly be distracted. Distractions will camouflage themselves because what it actually is, is a program that was created when you were a kid. You made an observation, you created a meaning and a program that was set in the back of your head. That program has been running on autopilot your whole life. It doesn’t want you to figure it out, because it’s only doing one thing, it’s not harming you. It’s actually trying to prevent you from harm. It’s trying to prevent you from feeling the emotions you felt as a kid. It’s a protection barrier. It’s a security guard and the security guard does not want you to see it. It doesn’t want you to figure it out. It hides itself and it’s camouflage is overthinking, procrastination, perfectionism. All of these things are just camouflage, they’re not the real problem. The real problem is you think that the successful accomplishment of the thing that you’re after will make you someone you don’t want to be because of an observation observation you made as a kid. It’s almost always with your parents. But an authority figure could be, someone along that line.
Now, if your parents worked really hard, I find this a lot…or I’ve found this a lot with kids of immigrant parents,. If your parents worked really, really, really hard, three jobs barely made any money at all, it’s very likely that you’ll sabotage an easy life. If things start getting easy for you, you can actually kick in a guilt kind of complex of I’m not respecting my parents. I’m not honoring them, things are way easier for me, a lot of times you will actually create trauma, just so life is hard. Anytime that you see that you’re not being consistent, or you feel like you’re sabotaging things, you probably are….look at the patterns of your life because they will help you decode.
What exactly is the program? How was it created? The other kicker on this is that your mind and program to protect yourself will actually erase your memories (not erase, that’s a strong word), but it will block some of your memories. Sometimes I’ll coach someone and I’ll say, “how was your relationship with your dad?”
And I will hear, “I really don’t remember.”
So I will ask, “oh, did you not know him?”
“No, no, no, we grew up……”
I’m like, okay, that’s the program. The program is actually blocking memories so that you don’t remember and are able to decode the program and decouple that program and get rid of it. If you don’t become aware of the program, you’re going to continuously struggle with that. Become aware of when you’re sabotaging, when you’re not being consistent and just feel into that and see is this something that’s serving me and start to become defiant to that program. Eventually, you’re going to go into waters that previously were unsafe, and you’re going to be defiant to that, and you’ll find yourself being more consistent and then you will reach all the things that you actually want in your life.
We can help you with your programs and help you become more consistent.
Now, because of how tricky that program can be, and how tricky it is for us to really be aware of what is going on with us when we’re not consistent, it often is very helpful to have a third party. We have a free strategy call where we would love to hear your story and actually help you out. If it’s struggling with consistency, we have helped thousands of entrepreneurs become more consistent. Here is a link higdongrouptraining.com, click that link, fill out the application and we would love to connect with you for free strategy call. There’s no obligation. We will certainly tell you about our programs, but you don’t have to purchase them. We will give you some options and some suggestions based on your specific circumstance. I hope this was helpful for you, whether you fill it out or not.