Today we have a fun topic: how to motivate your husband to work harder.
This topic is by popular demand! Yes, it is a fun topic but I’m actually going to give you some very powerful processes to greatly increase the chances of seeing your husband transform.
First I’m going to share with you what your husband doesn’t understand that if you can grasp this, it’ll actually help you out. Next I’m going to share the very easiest exercise to help improve your husband. Lastly, I’m going to give you a powerful visualization process to really improve the situation.
What is it that your husband doesn’t understand?
What doesn’t your husband understand? Well…a lot of things but there’s two things in particular. Number one, he doesn’t understand what it is that you want. As a man, you have to be a mind reader. You really do. So he doesn’t understand exactly what you want from him. He doesn’t understand that what you truly want is for him to fulfill his purpose.
I learned this from a great book (feel free to read it) by David Daida and it’s called The Way of the Superior Man. I know that’s kind of a cheesy title, but it explains the difference between masculine and feminine energy. It’s one of the best books I’ve ever read and it really helped me understand how to have a better relationship with my wife. I know you’re probably tempted to say “yeah I’m going to make my husband read that.” Probably not the best approach. Forcing or attempting to force him to read something has him reflect that there’s something wrong with him. This is a lack of education, this is not something wrong with him, it’s not understanding the dynamics of feminine energy and masculine energy. Understanding that is actually very helpful.
In the book, The Way of the Superior Man, he talks about how a good woman will challenge their man. Unfortunately most men don’t understand that challenge and they take it as criticism. They take it as complaints or as negativity. I’ve found that powerful feminine energy challenges their man to prepare them for the world and to prepare them for reaching their purpose. If they can’t take the challenges of the wife, they definitely can’t take the challenges of the world.
Only problem is most guys don’t understand the meaning of the challenge. In your efforts to make him a better person, it’s usually translated as criticism or not believing in or supporting them etc. Understand that what you may be doing to try to impact them is actually working in the opposite direction. Start to understand that they don’t get that you’re challenging them to make them better. The good news is there are some things that you can do that can actually improve the process.
What is the easiest exercise to help your husband?
It’s very simple. I will tell you this…I’m very proud of this actually…I have never, not one time had someone do this exercise and their relationship didn’t improve.
The exercise is this…every single day write down 10 things that you’re grateful for about your husband. I know you may be tempted to say “well he didn’t do this and this didn’t happen….” Use your imagination, come up with things. I’m grateful that he’s a good protector, maybe I’m grateful he took out the trash, I’m grateful that he got his hair cut, whatever. You taking the time to change your emotions actually impacts him.
Now that you have taken the time to write down 10 things, here’s what not to do. Don’t say, “hey look, look what I’m doing for you…I’m writing down 10 things and I’m great…” don’t do that, that doesn’t feel good. That doesn’t help. What this exercise does is twofold. One, we can feel when someone’s grateful for us. We can feel when someone feels positive or negative about us. We can definitely feel that…I can definitely feel that of my wife, right? I know when she’s not so happy with me or disappointed in me, I can feel it. I may mistranslate it because I don’t always know what she’s thinking but I feel it. I can assure you if you’ve been disappointed in your husband, he feels it and that isn’t conducive to him wanting to do more. It’s conducive to him mistranslating and doing the opposite of what you would actually like him to do.
You getting more in an attitude of gratitude of what you’re actually grateful for, will help. I know maybe you don’t feel like that…maybe you’re thinking “well I’m perfect, I knew you were a jerk.” Do the exercise. You do this for 21 days and see what happens. I bet you start noticing different things and he starts showing up differently. All of a sudden he starts doing things without you asking him to do it. I’ve never had someone do this process for 21 days and say it didn’t significantly impact their relationship.
Let’s get you started on this process!
What are just three things that you’re grateful for about your husband? Three things. I’d love to hear from you, drop them in the comments. This is actually very powerful for you. The more attitude of gratitude that you have, the more tapping into the emotion of gratitude that you really practice, the more things you locate to be grateful for…so drop me a comment. If you’re reading this post then what are three things you are grateful for regarding your husband.
What is this powerful visualization process?
I want you to really use your imagination here. I want you to see your husband as you really wish they were, as if it’s already happened. Like you’ve been handed a magical lamp and you rubbed it and you said I wish my husband was “___.” I want you to see this in your mind. I’ve found women are typically a lot better at this sort of thing. Use your imagination and see your husband as exactly who you wish they were. What are they wearing, how are they speaking, what are the different things that they’re doing. What are they doing differently than they’re currently doing now? Start to have the emotion of how would you feel if they were the perfect person that you wish that they were. Run this visualization process and start to see it.
Here’s how to help this process. Ask yourself “what would that feel like?” Your emotions are so important. What would it feel like if they were this already and “how would I know it’s true?” Maybe you wish your husband dressed up more and went to fancy dinners or something. I don’t know, whatever it is, see that as happening.
How would you know it’s true? Well maybe you would see them in a bow tie or see them at a big charity/gala dinner or delivering a speech. Really stretch your imagination to see them as if they are already the person you really wish that they were. Maybe it’s just simply the fact that they’re on their purpose. In that book The Way of the Superior Man, he detailed how it is very difficult for feminine energy to trust the masculine energy if they’re not on purpose and that’s a very powerful idea there. See them as on purpose. See them as fulfilling their life mission. See them as exactly who you wish they were and see it as if it’s already happened. This will take some work on your part of denying your senses. Because it’s still going to happen for a while that they aren’t exactly who you wish that they would be… This is why you have to tap into your imagination.
Need addional help?
If you would like more help (and also a female perspective on this kind of topic) I highly suggest you grab our book Time, Money, Freedom. My wife and I wrote this book and it is The 10 simple Rules to Redefine What’s Possible and Radically Reshape Your Life. This was published by HayHouse and we are very honored to to work with them and it is a best-selling book. Here is the link HigdonGroup.com/time-money-freedom. Click the link to check it out. Feel free to check out the reviews as well as we have a lot of great ones. If you’re looking for mine and my wife’s perspective on creating a better life, one that improves finances and your relationship, then grab our book Time, Money, Freedom.
Play Bigger. Make An Impact.
Considering Coaching? Check out my Work with Me tab and Survey where we Help People Everyday