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Things Not Said can Kill the Building of Business Relationships!
To become a successful team leader in network marketing you are going to have to learn it is not so much about control but about servitude and building relationships. Your ability to serve is going to be based on how you develop and maintain relationships. One of the biggest killers of relationships is all the things that are on people’s mind but not said. This post will examine and expose this truth so you know how it works.
Landmark Taught Me..We Are Meaning Making Machines
One of the biggest turning points in my life was when I attended the Landmark forum followed by their advanced training. It opened my eyes to how not only people were programmed but also how I was programmed. In fact you can see my original videos I shot after these events here:
After Landmark Forum – Where I reconnected with my Dad after 13 years
After Advanced Course – Where I learned how I was programmed
What these courses taught me was that we are meaning making machines…we make everything around us, everything that people do, mean something. We craft our own stories on why they did what they did and what it actually meant. God forbid we ask them, so, we make something up and then we prove how our story is right by piecing together the clues. Here’s the problem, the story we craft in our heads is rarely even remotely close to reality.
Distance and Time Makes Our Story Stronger
The more we avoid saying what needs to be said, the more it validates and we have time to piece together even more clues to ensure the story we crafted is true. You may have friends that stopped communicating with you for no apparent reason, most likely, they have created a story about something that happened between you and they are simply believing their own nonsense. This happens often in network marketing in so many areas such as:
– My upline never calls me, they must be too busy or just don’t care about me
– They didn’t recognize me at a meeting, they must not like me
– They didn’t answer the phone, they must have seen it was me and purposely not picked up
See how dangerous our thinking can be? Our mind does not allow for anything normal to be the reason for something, it naturally floats to the negative, only broadcasting our own worries and stresses about our own self worth.
How to Prevent a Crappy Life
The stress of carrying around stories in our head about people and situations can be very burdensome. It is also very stressful when you let these same stories keep you from your dreams! I wonder how many people have jumped from a network marketing company to another because of the things not said? I wonder how many networkers have crafted these negative stories in their head just to find out that after their very short period of excitement of being in a “new deal” they realize the same stories happen over there too! The constant..is your thinking!
Having the gumption to say the things that need to be said will serve you. This does NOT mean to be nasty to people or get angry with people but more ask clarifying questions to the people that are in your life. Instead of “knowing” or “assuming” you know the motives of other people, talk to them non-accusingly and ask questions. 9 times out of 10 you will find the story you created was much worse than reality AND you will solidify that relationship that much more by letting them know what was on your mind. Don’t assume, don’t craft a story, shine light where this is darkness by simply speaking up.
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