Are you TRULY happy with your life and your network marketing business?
Here’s the exact 4 step blueprint on how to stay happy and focused in network marketing despite what anyone else thinks.
The Blueprint for Happiness in Your Network Marketing Business
On a plane ride to Boise, I snatched up a bunch of different magazines. I read about a study that studied happiness. It talked about some key elements that either increased or decreased happiness.
I realized that this is why I’m happy.
I’m pretty happy, and it’s not that I don’t get haters.
I think this study and a few things I’ll share with you today is why I’m happy and why I’m not so worried about what anyone thinks.
1. Don’t Be Addicted To Your Expectations
The number one factor of happiness is your expectations.
People that constantly walk around with these expectations of:
- She better join.
- There better not be any traffic.
- He better say thank you for baking him that pie.
So, people that walk around with these expectations that people are going to do the right thing, that people are going to respond the way that they wish, that they’re going to get what they want out of conversations, transactions, ect. These are the most unhappy people..
I don’t want to say lower your expectations, but don’t be addicted to your expectations.
Don’t Be Addicted To The Outcome
Don’t be addicted, don’t be addicted to the outcome.
So, when I tell you that I went for 20 “nos” a day every day for six months, I wasn’t hurt by any “no.”
In the very first network marketing company that I was a part of I actually recruited someone that passed me in rank. At the time he was definitely more focused than I was, because I was still doing real estate. He passed me in rank I think by two. I recruited him, he went up two ranks higher than me. Unfortunately, because of how that worked I didn’t benefit a ton, but I remember when I got serious about network marketing I thought, “Oh, my god, I’m gonna totally recruit him.” This was a few years later. I went to him and he told me, “no.” I still wasn’t upset, because I wasn’t addicted to the outcome.
If I had a heart monitor and a brain monitor hooked up to all the times I got “nos” you wouldn’t be able to tell.
If you don’t have expectations for all of those around you, for all the elements around you, people around you, traffic around you, then you have the greatest chance of being happy.
Isn’t that interesting? That’s not my words. That’s the study I read.
2. Vaccinate For Compare-itis
Number two is comparison.
Now, this is a big one.
They’re saying that one of the biggest reasons that a higher percentage of people are more depressed than ever in history.
It’s unfortunate, but there are more people depressed now than like ever in history.
They say the number one reason, Social Media. Because everyone is constantly seeing what everyone else is doing.
What do we tend to do? We tend to say, “Well, how come they’re happy in a relationship and I’m not? How come they got a new car and I didn’t. How come they just bought their dream home? Well, home come they just hit the next rank?”
How often do you compare yourself in a negative fashion?
How often do you compare yourself in a negative fashion to other people who you feel are winning bigger than you?
The study detailed a few other things but if you just eliminated these two, if you stopped having expectations that was just a set up for disappointment, right?
So, if you can just do these two things, just these two where you stop having expectations, you’re addicted to the activity.
- “I’m just gonna show up. If they sign up, great. If not, no big deal.”
- “I’m going to back the dude a pie. If he thanks me, great, if not no big deal.”
Notice how I’m using an out to myself.
“If I buy her a shirt and she likes it, great. If not no big deal.”
I’m still buying her the shirt. I’m addicted to the activity.
How I Stopped Comparing Myself To Others
My entire life up until 12 years ago, I suffered from this.
This is what I would do, and I’m not proud of this. But maybe it’ll help you out.
If I would bear witness to someone who is winning bigger, “They got money. They got a big car.” This is gonna be terrible…
So, if I would bear witness to what I would conclude was someone winning bigger than me, here’s what I would do.
I would create in my mind some kind of ethical moral checklist.
I would say, “Well, you know, they’re kind of rude. You know what, they’re arrogant. You know what, they don’t even have a good relationship with their family.” Whether I knew this or not.
Whether I knew this or not.
“Well, you know what, they’re not nice to their friends. You know what, they don’t even tip well. They don’t give to charity.” What a piece of crap I was.
Because they’ve out performed and out produced me let me bring them down to size.
You’ll never become that which you despise.
Something you’ve got to understand is, you’ll never become that which you despise.You'll never become that which you despise.Click To Tweet
If you despise people who are winning bigger than you, then congrats you’ll just never become that. You’ll never become bigger.
This was me, 12 years ago.
So, I killed that. I actually had a coach years ago that helped me with this.
So, I changed that energy.
You can’t help but bear witness. You can’t help it to notice someone’s at a higher rank than you, succeeding bigger than you, making more money than you, happier than you, have more cars than you, have more necklaces and jewelry than you.
I’m not saying, “Don’t look around.” I’m not saying that.
What I did instead is I started looking at this person as what’s possible, and I started creating gratitude.
I started saying, “I’m so grateful that this person is showing what’s possible.”
I remember there was a guy in my city that I was in a company trying to make it happen, trying to make it happen, and barely making anything. He was making over $200,000 a month.
So, I changed. I thought, “You know what, wow, this person is showing what’s possible. That is so damn cool. Wow, that’s what’s possible, $200,000 a month and he’s barely showing up at meetings. Wow, that’s amazing.”
I started having gratitude for him. I started having gratitude for the example that he has set.
Show me the person that walks on water and “I never compare myself to anyone. I’m just so awesome.” I don’t think you exist. I don’t think you exist. I think you’re going to have a comparison ritual and one can serve you and one definitely will not.
3. Who You Surround Yourself With
Are people winning around you?
Here’s what often happens in a network marketing team. In a network marketing team someone is struggling. There’s always people succeeding in any network marketing organization.
There’s no company I’ve ever seen that is just like everyone is dead. And, there’s always people crushing it.
But here’s what happens is people will come into an organization and they’re like, “I’m not getting any results. I’m not getting any results. I’m not getting results.”
There’s some people winning around them, but what they do, what they do is they try to corral the non-result getters.
Like attracts like and misery loves company.Like attracts like and misery loves company.Click To Tweet
The more that you gather the strugglers around you the more that you’re entrenched in unhappiness. The more you’re entrenched on happiness, in unhappiness I should say.
This is the person that will post in your team group and say, “Hey, I’m not getting results. This really sucks. Who else is sucking?”
They’ll create a marketing blueprint to attract suckers.
Like, “Who else is sucking?” VS “Who’s winning that I can learn from? Who’s winning that can help point me in the right direction?”
They won’t look for that. They will look for the people that are also sucking, so we can all just gather around and just suck.
4. Have Posture
We define posture as the belief in what you have regardless of external acceptance, approval, or agreement.
If there’s leaders, or companies, or whatever that, “That Ray is evil. He’s like a hyena and he’ll get ya.” I don’t care.
Because I care about this profession and the good people in this profession, I will fight that behavior till my last breath.
I was bullied in my first company. I will fight that behavior like crazy, but one very key thing is I don’t care.
If someone that doesn’t know me, that has bashed me 10 times and is negative all the time and talks behind my back and makes up stuff, I don’t want them. I don’t want their acceptance, approval, agreement. I don’t want their energy. And, I don’t want them around me.
What I will do, and this comes down to time management.
If I said, “You know what, I got to win him over. I got to at least hash this out. We got to have a fireside chat.” Well, that’s time taken away from people who aren’t like that. I want to focus on the people that are nice.
I don’t judge people by skill, desire, or results. But if they are rude and negative, and just terrible to people they don’t know, I just don’t want that energy around me. I want to focus on who I want to be around me.
Posture is key. The less you care about the negative energy vampires in your life, the happier you will be.
This is a blueprint for happiness. If you’re happier guess who you attract. You attract happier people.
Tony Robbins says it the best, “Trade your expectations for appreciation.”Trade your expectations for appreciation. - Tony RobbinsClick To Tweet
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