If you’re afraid to fail, read this.

The first thing I’m going to cover in this post is the one question that you need to ask yourself regarding action. Then I’m going to help you figure out why your fear may have to do with your past. Lastly I’m going to give you a powerful concept to help you never feel disappointed.

I understand your fear. 

First of all if you’re afraid to fail, I can totally understand. I know that there’s been many, many times in my life where I was also afraid to fail. When I first started public speaking, I was absolutely terrified of it, did it and then I realized I was terrible at it. I was terrified to do my first video, there’s so many things in my life that I’ve been just totally afraid to fail when I started. What I want to help you with in this post (I think) will really transform you.

What was the one question?

The one question that you need to ask yourself regarding action is…”what would make success inevitable?” This is a very powerful question because it has you link your success in something to a daily routine. If you look at success as only meant for those who have this innate amazing, talent and ability then you’re going to constantly put yourself in that “other” category. You’re going to put yourself in the category of “oh well, I’m not supposed to succeed because I wasn’t born with it.” Well, I wasn’t born with a whole bunch of things that I now possess. I highly encourage you to analyze your daily routine regarding your desire. What is it that you actually want in your life that you’re so afraid to fail at? Is it doing videos, is it starting your own business, is it getting into a relationship, is it being a parent? Whatever that is, reverse that and think to yourself okay, what could I do each and every day that would all but guarantee I get good at that thing.

When it comes to videos, maybe you’re afraid of failing on video. What would make success inevitable? You doing more videos. It’s a combination of building skill and doing the activity, building the skill, doing the activity. If you do that every single day, guess what? You’re going to get pretty good at videos. I remember my very first video that I ever did, I was being trained by this guy (a marketer) and I do the video and it took me forever. Looking back, I was just so unsure of myself on video and didn’t know what I was doing so it took me hours to shoot this short little video. I sent it to him and he said, “lol, You should totally post that.” Not what I was going for. He thought it was so bad that I did it as a comedy skit. Now thousands and thousands of videos later, many many years later, I do these videos all the time. Whatever it is you’re afraid of, ask yourself what in a daily routine would make success inevitable?

How might your fear have anything to do with your past?

Actually a lot. I have coached hundreds and hundreds of people. What I found is those who aren’t consistent always, not sometimes, always the reason they’re not consistent is they’ve drawn the wrong conclusion to success based on an observation they made as a kid. I know that may sound far-fetched, that may sound like, “what does that have to do with it?” Throughout my career, I remember people telling me things like that and I was just like whatever. I just need to do it. The truth is if you observe something as a kid and it associated a negative meaning with success, then you created a program. That program has been with you your whole life.

Let me give you some examples because this is something that you almost have to have examples to understand. I remember I coached a lady named Tara. She would show up in a career, do really, really well, just crush it, rock it out, break records, all kinds of stuff and then at some point she would find something wrong and she would leave that thing and go join something else and start something else from scratch. She would ride the rocket ship up to the top, make it happen and then she’d find a reason and get out of there, that was her pattern, When she would leave a company, people were like, “what she’s leaving, she’s amazing, why would she leave?” Everyone was always confused but Tara knew something was wrong and so she would leave.

I was coaching her and I said, “what was your relationship like with your parents?”

She said, “oh they were wonderful, they were perfect, (that’s the word she used) They were perfect, No trauma, no drama you know? Always good to me, just great relationship. They were awesome.

I’m like okay. Sometimes we put up defensive walls. Sometimes our program actually creates blocks in memory. I’ve met many people along the way that they literally don’t remember their childhood and that is a protection mechanism. There’s something that happened that the program doesn’t want them to access any longer, doesn’t want them to be able to figure out the program because it’s protecting them and it doesn’t want them to feel the feelings they had as a kid. I figured she had her walls up.

So I said, “hey you know what? It’s okay if we don’t figure this out.”

She goes, “oh my god. I just remembered something!”


She said, “I remember catching my mom cheating on my dad.”

“Whoa, got it!” In that moment I now know what the issue is. She doesn’t, but I do from doing this for so many years.

She says, “well what does that have to do with me changing careers?”

I said, “everything, has everything to do with it. As a kid, you were out of control and out of power and you had this perfect relationship and your parents had this perfect relationship and that reality was smashed, that reality was destroyed and you had no power over it. So anytime you start feeling that something is really really good, you want to make the move, you don’t want the rug pulled out from under you like it was when you were a kid.

That bit of advice has completely changed her career. She now isn’t a jumper, now when she reached the top she did not get the heck out of there, she has been rocking and rolling ever since. Look at your patterns. If you had a a parent that was really successful but ignored you – well you may have drawn the conclusion that with success you have to ignore the kids and you don’t want your kids to feel like you did so  you will just keep sabotaging your success. By the way that’s not a conscious decision. None of this is conscious. You’re the puppet on a string, you’re in the autopilot seat. You’re being driven around by your program.

Let’s hear from you.

Before we get to my last point, I would love to hear from you. What is one thing that you’re afraid of right now even a little bit that you are going to assure me you’re going to accomplish. You are going to push past that fear and you’re going to get good at it. Drop it in the comments, make a public declaration. We would love to root for you.

How to never feel disappointment.

Now that sounds like a bold claim on a Blog post, doesn’t it? It’s like wait a minute, what is he doing here? Is he passing out meds, what’s happening? The other day while I was running this group coaching (they’re intimate groups, usually four or five people – I have my personal clients but I also have these monthly groups that I run) and I asked one of my clients a question.

I asked her, “hey have you been setting the vision before you go to bed?” This is a practice that we teach and we also teach it here on this blog and on our YouTube channel. 

She goes, “you know I just don’t want to feel disappointed.” 

She wasn’t setting big goals or creating big visualizations because she was afraid of being let down. My response shocked her.

I said, “how can you be let down from something you’ve already experienced?”

She’s like, “what do you mean?”

I said, “in my mind, I have seen a lot of things. I’ve created memories of my future. So that means that you are creating things that you experience on an emotional level before you actually have them. Before the senses, all the other slow senses have noticed.” I told her about my big yacht. I said, “listen, I’ve already experienced my big yacht. I’ve already had charity dinners on there, I’ve already had parties on there, I’ve felt the wood on my feet, I’ve already partied out at night with the lights on and you know jet ski running around. I’ve already chartered out the boat and and you know gone fishing, caught some amazing fish, I’ve had some just unbelievable times on my yacht. In fact you know if you ask me right now, I feel like it’s docked right down the road. I’ve already felt all that.”

How could I ever be disappointed. When you’re creating a visualization of what it is that you actually want, the better way to think is to set an intention, not a want or a desire. Set an intention and feel it as if you already have it. This is a concept that I think is best taught by a gentleman named Neville Goddard. Neville Goddard passed away I believe in 72 and he taught this in the 50s and in the 60s. Just an amazing guru and trainer. It is feeling as if you have already experienced that, it’s already happened. It’s a memory of your future. You ask yourself this question, “how would I know it’s true?” How would it feel?

How would I know it’s true allows you to create conversations from other individuals. What would people say if you have this big yacht? What would people say if you won that dance competition? What would people say if you bought that mansion on your road? Whatever it is. It allows you to create that emotion of how you would feel and also create evidence supporting this new thing that you want to bring into your life, that’s how you never feel disappointment.


Speaking of coaching, would you like to get some one-on-one coaching or maybe even participate in some of our group coaching? Here is a link to learn more, Higdongrouptraining.com. Click that link and fill out the information. There’s nothing to buy on there, just fill it out if you would like to learn more about coaching and how we can help you create more powerful daily routines, create more visualizations for what it is that you actually want. If you’re not getting to where you want to go, click that link above, we would love to help you.

Ray Higdon

Play Bigger. Make An Impact.

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