Today we are going to help you learn how to overcome your fear of prospecting.

First of all I’m going to share with you why you should stop (right now!) seeking confidence. Stop seeking confidence. Number two, why your fear of prospecting actually is not a fear of prospecting. Lastly I’m going to give you one word that you are going to write down and hold on to, that’s really going to help you in this area.

Have you ever been afraid to do something, did it, only to realize that it really wasn’t that big of a deal. Well that’s your fear of prospecting. I understand though, I used to make mountains out of molehills in so many areas of my life. Whether it was a conversation with my mom or prospecting or doing videos. I remember the first time I was asked to give a presentation in front of a small group for three days I didn’t sleep. I mean I was just a nervous wreck and I almost quit the job just to not do that presentation. That’s how big I blew it up. But it was me moving forward anyway that actually transformed my life. That’s one of the biggest transformations of my life is the fact that I showed up, I did it anyway and then I decided to get good at speaking. Now I get regular very nice, handsome keynote fees for speaking. You can get really good at prospecting too even though you’re feeling afraid right now.

Stop seeking confidence.

Now I mentioned to stop seeking confidence, that sounds like terrible advice, doesn’t it? “Oh yeah, easy for him to say….” I bet that’s what you thought. “Oh yeah, easy for him to say because he’s has confidence.”

Well number one I didn’t always and number two, I don’t have confidence in all things. If I am asked to do something I’ve never done before, I most certainly do not have confidence, that would be very strange. I don’t know what that looks like….maybe Kanye has confidence in everything that he does (which is a magical superpower). If I’m doing something for the first time, I’m going to have doubts but there’s something else that you should be tapping into that isn’t confidence and that is courage. Courage you can tap into. You can tap into courage in the moment. If you tap into courage in the moment enough times, guess what you’ll develop? Confidence. You will never develop confidence in the moment, that’s not how it works.

Confidence is.…I’ve done this so many times, it’s just old hat to me or I’ve done it so many times, I know what will possibly happen good or bad, it’s not that big of a deal, that’s confidence.

Courage is you diving into the unknown.

Courage is you moving forward despite your emotions, despite your lack of experience etc. When you’re about to call someone or text someone or message somebody and you’re feeling that fear, then tap into courage. Send the darn message. There’s a book out there that I co-authored that would really help you around this too. It’s called Go for No for Network Marketing and it teaches you the concept of going for no. That also may sound like bad advice but go for no is just reducing your resistance to rejection and your reaction to rejection.  One of the main things that I did to become the number one income earner in a network marketing company was I went for 20 no’s a day every single day. Do you think when I got a no, I was really disheartened and sad and depressed or was I like oh cool only 19 more to go. Very different way of looking at rejection.

Fear of prospecting? 

Now I challenged you earlier and I said that your fear of prospecting actually isn’t a fear of prospecting. I’m here to tell you that it isn’t. It’s a fear of looking bad. It’s a fear of looking stupid and I know because I’ve had plenty of that in my life. Most times I’ve been able to push past it and realize that it was dumb for me to have that thought, because what’s beyond your comfort zone? Which is exactly what we’re talking about here. What’s beyond your comfort zone is your dream life. What’s beyond your comfort zone is all the things that you want in your life. For you to get there, you absolutely do run the risk of looking stupid. You run the risk of looking bad. Anything that someone tries for the first time or anything that someone really pursues hardcore for the first time, they look bad at it.

I remember back in the 90s when they were calling for Jeff Bezos to be fired as the head of amazon because he had gone like 20 years without making profits and they’re like this guy. I remember there was an article that said, “he’s not Jeff Bezos. He’s Jeff Bozo.” Now one of the wealthiest men in the world. Has he changed your life? I mean if you told someone 20 years ago “hey there’ll be a day where you can think of anything that you want and you can just press a button on your phone and it’ll get there the next day. You could get a unicorn eraser, you can get a bike horn, you can get a steering wheel.” You would be like, “yeah sure, buddy. What is it? Is it magic or something….” but that’s amazon prime. It’s crazy. If he had succumbed to how others were talking about him and how he looked bad then we would not have amazon. We would not have a lot of different things.

You have to stop being so afraid of looking bad. What everyone else (that you think is going to focus on you looking bad) what they’re really thinking about is themselves. They’re thinking about they don’t want to look bad. So stop holding on to that fear of looking stupid. It’s okay to pummel forward toward a goal and run that risk.

Let’s hear from you.

Before we get to my last point, how many people do you know have some kind of fear? Whether it’s around prospecting, doing videos or something else. Feel free to share this. Share this post with them, they will thank you, they will really appreciate it. This is one way for you to also (believe it or not) chip away at your fear of prospecting. By you sharing this post it shows that you’re vulnerable and it shows that you really want to help people which is also why you would be prospecting too. You want to help people, that’s why you should be prospecting. You not prospecting means you’re not helping people you should. So share this post.

What’s the one word that you should really tap into?

Now I already mentioned one and that was courage. You remember? It was just a couple minutes ago but I told you to tap into courage. Here’s another word: defiance. Defiance is not only the name of our latest book but it’s also just one of my favorite words. Defiance.

Look for areas in your life where you can become more defiant. Defiant to what your emotions are telling you to do or not to do regardless of you knowing what’s good for you. Defiant to that voice that says “hey you don’t have to go to the gym today,” if that’s your thing. Now I’m not saying that everyone has to go to the gym every day but if that’s your thing and that voice is telling you not to…be defiant to it.

Let’s say you’re wanting to lose weight. Over my life I’ve had lots of ups and downs. At one point I was 255 pounds which is about 60 pounds heavier than I am right now. Very miserable, very unhappy up until this last year I’ve been up down up down up down down. 230, 210, 205, 230, 212, 203. I’ve been up down up down up and it was over this last year of self-development that I really cracked that code. Just recently I totally eliminated my addiction to food because even when I was at a lower weight, I was still addicted, but I will tell you the only way that I did that was by being defiant. Let’s say you’re trying to lose some weight. I don’t want you to empty your cupboards of all the bad stuff. I want you to leave it right there but I want you to be defiant to it. I want you to be able to walk through the shadow of the valley of death and still prosper. The reason is, if you create a scenario that is perfect well then you’re going to crack every time you’re in a non-perfect scenario. When you’re at the neighbors and they have the nachos and the beer and the whatever else, you’re going to splurge because you are out of your cage.

See, I would rather that that power goes with you no matter where you are. No matter what box, what cage etc. So build defiance. One way that I started doing that about two years ago now is I started taking cold showers. Didn’t want to do it, definitely didn’t want to do it, hesitated every time, did it anyway. I was defiant to that because I know that there’s a lot of health benefits to cold showers and ice baths and all those different things.

Start to become more defiant in your life. If it’s that jelly donut, if it’s that last piece of pizza, be defiant to it, don’t eat it and all of a sudden you’ll notice that your self-esteem will increase. All of a sudden you’ll notice that you’ll be able to show up and do things a little differently than you ever have been before. Start becoming more defiant. When you have that program kick in and it says don’t send them a message, they’d never do it. Do it anyway. You start doing that and you’ll wonder what else can I do?

Help with prospecting. 

Would you like help with some of the nuances of what to say around prospecting? You can actually gain confidence in what you say. You can do that right now with our social media script book. This will help you with overcoming objections, with what to say and when to say it, with how to reach out to people whether you know them or not. Here is a link, if you would like to grab it. So many people have used this book and they absolutely love it.

Ray Higdon

Play Bigger. Make An Impact.

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