Have you been stuck at the same income level for months—or even years? Despite learning all the right strategies, scripts, and systems, something always holds you back from consistent action. I’ve discovered after 12 years of coaching thousands of entrepreneurs that teaching people what to do isn’t enough. The real breakthrough comes when you understand why you won’t do what you know you should.
The Surprising Truth About Business Success
When I first started coaching back in 2013, I focused solely on teaching tactics: “Here are the scripts, here’s the strategy, here’s what to post.” But something puzzled me—only a tiny percentage of people would actually implement what I taught.
The game-changer came when I shifted to helping people understand their self-sabotage patterns first. Suddenly, clients who had been stuck for years started having record months and completely transforming their businesses.
Here’s what I’ve observed: If you struggle with consistency, it’s because of an observation and conclusion you drew as a child. This became a subconscious program that’s now preventing you from doing the work you actually want to do.
The Hidden Programs Limiting Your Success
Let me share some real examples that might help you identify your own patterns:
Example 1: The Fear of Success
I once did a 10-minute coaching call with a woman who had been stuck making $500 or less per month for four years. I didn’t check her scripts, analyze her brand, or look at her marketing—I just asked about her background.
She mentioned her mother had been a prostitute, and immediately I understood her pattern. A part of her didn’t want to reach her potential because she feared that if she became successful, people would bring up her mother’s past to shame her. She would do anything to protect her mother from that shame.
After our call, she had a conversation with her mother, and within 90 days, her volume exceeded $90,000. Today, she’s a multiple six-figure earner and bestselling author. One conversation changed everything.
Example 2: The “Good Child” Syndrome
Another client told me she hated being in the limelight when she achieved success in her business. When I asked if she had siblings and if she was “the good one,” she confirmed.
Her pattern: As a child, she heard her parents say, “Why can’t you be more like your sister?” This created a subconscious belief that when she was praised, someone else was being hurt. Who would want that? So she sabotaged her own success to avoid the spotlight.
Example 3: The Safety Detector
On a Clubhouse call, I coached a woman who had excelled in multiple careers but always left when things were going well. She claimed she discovered corruption or problems in each company.
When I asked about her childhood, she insisted her parents were perfect. But with a little prompting, she suddenly remembered catching her mother cheating on her father as a young girl. In that moment, her reality shattered, and she vowed never to let anyone pull the wool over her eyes again.
This programming caused her to leave situations whenever she felt too comfortable—she was unconsciously waiting for the other shoe to drop. Since our coaching, she’s continued to excel in the same company without sabotaging her success.
How to Identify Your Self-Sabotage Pattern
You can’t rely on your memory to identify your self-sabotage. Many traumatic experiences are blocked out by our minds as a protective mechanism. Instead, look at your patterns:
- Do you consistently start projects but never finish them?
- Do you reach a certain income level and then sabotage your progress?
- Do you find “problems” with opportunities right when things are going well?
These patterns reveal more than your memories ever could.
Two Powerful Questions to Break Through
If you want to move past your self-sabotage and finally achieve consistent success, I recommend praying about these two questions:
- “God, what do you want to do for me in my business?”
- “What do I need to let go of to move forward?”
When I prayed the first question months ago, I received one word: “freedom.” Since then, God has orchestrated amazing changes in my business. I’ve stepped away from projects and boards, some clients have moved on, and new opportunities have arrived. Now I love every minute of my day and operate with incredible freedom.
Prayer isn’t just talking—it’s also listening. The answers may come in your own inner voice, but with words and insights you wouldn’t normally think of yourself.
Moving Forward With Clarity
Understanding and addressing your self-sabotage patterns is the first critical step to making your first (or next) $1,000 in your business. No amount of tactical training will help if your subconscious programming is working against you.
Throughout this week, we’ll be covering four more essential topics:
- Branding
- Closing sales
- Prospecting and follow-up
- Grit and resilience
But remember, even the best strategies won’t work if self-sabotage is holding you back. Take time to reflect on your patterns, pray about the two questions I shared, and prepare to break through to a new level of success.
