My note to my Dad after seeing him for the 1st time in 13 years
If you didn’t catch it, a few months ago I attended the landmark forum which is a seminar that empowers you in so many different ways but made me realize that I wanted a relationship with my Dad that I hadn’t seen in 13 years and he had never met my two boys (ages 9 and 11). Well, we went up there this past weekend and it was awesome. I have simply created a whole new life by taking action and making it happen and am so happy I did. This morning I wrote him a note about our experiences. Some people may wonder why would I share such an intimate moment on the Internet? Well, because I know my situation is not unique. I know some eyes that may read this are the eyes of someone who also hasn’t made the move to have a relationship with a family member that they wish were in their lives. We all have justifications on why we don’t have a relationship, we can all get buyin from people we talk to on why NOT to have a relationship with someone, but, those are the things that go on and then those people die and then we have lost that chance. I hope these words encourage you to make that move you have been neglecting as I did for 13 years. Namaste!
Dad,
Thank you for having me and my kids come into your life and thanks for all the time you spent with us. If we don’t give up our past we are just doomed to live our lives now according to things that happened long ago versus living in the present and creating new possibilities with the moments that are with us now. Forgiveness is giving up on the idea that the past could have been any different and I am glad I learned that and at an age where I still had the opportunity to create a new life with you and the family up north that this weekend reminded me I missed so much. Thank you for being open to a new relationship with me and my boys. They had a blast up there and twice on the way back Ethan said he missed his Grandpa Ray. You are a great man and one I am proud to call my father. I am sorry it took this long to reach out to you and the family but happy that it happened without it taking someone dying. For anyone to regret any part of their past is to witness a lack or limitation in their current self and all the things that I have gone through have made me who I am and I love myself! I am happy with my life and the choices I make everyday and I thank you for all you have done and am so excited to a new chapter in my life with you and the family up North included in it. Keep in touch and perhaps you want to practice Wii baseball some more in our absence so Ethan doesn’t embarrass you again!
Love you, your son,
Ray
Ray Higdon
Southwest Florida Twitter Guy
Dad, me and the boys
If you are interested in the Landmark forum and in SWFL, you may want to attend the free event we are doing with the landmark forum on August 5th, click below
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Dude, This is the best story I have had the pleasure of reading in a long time. I am so excited for you and your family. Great picture!
Love you man! Brian
That’s so awesome Ray! Forgiveness is a sweet thing, isn’t it? Glad you were able to reconnect and have things go so smoothly. You’re an inspiration to me, my friend!! Keep up the awesome work on you!!
Love you, Carol
Really awesome! I’m very pleased for you and your sons that you reconnected. Glad you made that opportunity happen. My parents are both gone after long lives and I was able to spend a lot of valuable time with them(and my brother)in their last years during which we became much closer. I feel blessed for having had that experience.
I’m proud of you! Keep up the good work.
Ed
Hey Ray,
Thanks for stepping out and taking a risk! God is good and your life is a testimony that we can all strive to love unconditionally. Thanks too for sharing your story and encouraging people to step out, forgive and make the most of the moments we have! God bless,
Debra
Way to go Ray!
Thanks for sharing your experience! I’m so happy and excited that you have created a whole new future for yourself & your boys!!
Very awesome!!! best, Jennifer
Ray, this is a testament that without God’s love and laws, our lives would never reach the point of happiness. It is not about money and material posessions, even if they make our lives more comfortable. A meaningful life only comes about when we face our fears, conquer love and have compassion for all creatures in this world, including our own. You have demonstrated a certain maturity that still lacks in so many people. People, take note and start living a life of forgiveness, and above all, be humble.
Marie K.
Wow Ray … Of what I do know of u. Expect the unexpected! And I love it. I am excited about the next time ur kids play Wii with their grandpa. keep on keeping on!!!!!
Ray, I applaud you for your much needed reunion with your father and your son’s grandpa. The world revolves around kindness and compassion towards others especially with our families. I always tell my daughters friends that I expect respect from them towards my daughters that is the lesson I recieved from my father and I expect it for them. My father has been passed for almost 7 years now and believe me there isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t miss him emensly, thank God for all the memories. We had a great relationship and I can only hope that your relationship with your dad and your sons grand pa will be filled with endless joy’s and happiness!!!
Tom L.
I’m so happy for you, your Dad and your sons. Time goes way too quickly. The past is done and you can’t do re-wind. Tomorrow may never come. All you have is today!
Dude that´s awesome!
I once tracked down someone´s paternal dad for her.
I found him in Illinois.
When I called him and asked him if he had ever had a daughter.
He said yes, and Ï often think about that little girl¨.
I had a conference call when I put the two of them together, and it was very emotional.
She too took her kids and her husband up to Illinois to meet him and met her half sister.
WO! that was cool.
Glad to see you are doing wel.
Dear Ray-After 28 years of no contact with my Dad, he had never met my 3 beautiful children, when he approached his 70th birthday, I had this yearning to forgive,forget,reconnect. I consulted my 12 year old boy at the time, as it involved my kids too. I’ll never forget his sage advice about a potential reunion at a birthday party- “Well Mom, first- He is your father, and you only have one. Second- What’s the worst that can happen? ” That was 10 years ago, and I got a new “half” sister out of the deal - my FAVORITE sister!! Really, it was the best thing I ever did.
Congratulations on discovering one of the main reasons for living! And blessings to your wonderful family- forever!
Ray:
Congrats on your 1st step to your new life with your Dad. I couldn’t think of how my life would be without my Mom or Dad in my life. And how my son would miss out on the other half of his lineage.
It is funny how life always manages to come full circle! Just remember to say “I love you” every chance you can get.
Bob Burns
[...] Reconnecting with and Forgiving Parents Filed under: Breakthrough Results, inspiration — Tags: forgiveness, Landmark Education, landmark forum — landmarkeducationinaustralia @ 2:38 pm This latest post really captures what the Landmark Forum and Landmark Education are really all about – that life is too short to waste on resentments and regrets, and underneath everything we just love people. This blog talks about a man reconnecting with his father after an estrangement – I found it deeply moving. An excerpt is below, including a letter the man sent to his father; read the whole thing here. [...]
Thank you all for the lovely comments and sharing!
Ray Higdon
This is truly a great real story - Its great when someone takes the courage to reach out and find what is true, real and wonderful. My husband experienced it in reaching out to his real mum and dad - you can’t erase the past or its reasons but you can certainly change the future and be truly blessed by it!!
[...] A lot of you have heard that story, if you would like to read that, you can visit my blog at http://rayhigdon.com/my-note-to-my-dad-after-seeing-him-for-the-1st-time-in-13-years/ This is an event that changed my life, freed me mentally from some of the past baggage I had been [...]
Dear Ray, I recently became a follower of yours, in which seems to be one of the best moves I have made…Not only for your wisdom, but for your life motivation, which actually gives me motivation to move on in life. Our stories are somewhat similar…(in a way)only the beginning.For the fact I have not yet, met my biological parents. After reading your story, I really do understand why my life is the way it is, from childhood, never realized “WHY”? Thank you for enlightening myself, so that I could move on in life, maybe with a different aspect, You and your family have a Wonderful Thanksgiving!!! and God Bless!!!!-Renee