7 Steps to Building Confidence and Self Esteem
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7 Steps to Building Confidence
and Self Esteem
Kim and My Wife, Two Confident Women!
I have come to believe there is NOTHING that is more important than building confidence and self esteem, this article will help you do just that.
What Could Be MORE Important than Self Improvement?
Ready to tweet this or share this on Facebook? This hit me yesterday and it made so much sense to me.
“There can be no real self improvement until you have self acceptance” – Ray Higdon
Let me share what I mean…
The Indestructible Power of Self Acceptance
Studying self improvement, trying to build confidence and self esteem BEFORE you accept yourself is like trying to apply moisturizing beauty cream to an open wound.
Trying to improve your skill-set for building your business before you have self acceptance is like polishing the oars on your boat that is sinking.
Trying to get better at your marketing before you believe in yourself is like putting granite counter-tops in the house that is condemned.
OK, so you get the point, believing in yourself and self acceptance, in my opinion, is of the highest order. But how do you do it? Easy to say right? Hard to do, or is it?
7 Steps to Building Confidence and Self Esteem
1. Do affirmations everyday. Yeah, I know, you have heard this one before, there are two school of thoughts here and I say pick the one you like best. There’s a school of thought that traditional affirmations, you know, things like “I am so grateful and excited that I am healthy and wealthy” are not believable so therefore not valid. The non-traditional way taught by my buddy Noah St John says to write affirmations in the form of a why, such as, “Why am I so healthy and wealthy?” so force your subconscious to go to work on it like a math problem. I have gone back and forth on this, on one hand it does make logical sense and on the other I also believe that stating things in the present tense is a good practice too. You pick (comment below if you have a strong opinion either way)
2. Watch “It’s a Wonderful Life”. Great move, might cheer ya up just watching a good movie but it particularly should help you see that you can make a big difference but let me challenge and pull you in another way. Yes, whoever you are, you HAVE made a difference in the lives of multiple people, your kids, parents, friends, students, siblings, etc BUT, and stay with me here, the slight advancements in your exposure and impact multiple the effect at every step. Meaning, when you create success that mandates you being asked to share your story on a small stage, MULTIPLIES the number of people you impact and inspire. What does that mean? The less time you spend staying put, moving backwards, NOT believing in yourself, the more you CAN spend impacting other people. Embracing this translates to it being SELFISH to NOT create a successful life.
3. Read the struggles of others and know that a lot of the most successful people in the world also had difficulties and reasons to NOT believe in themselves but somehow they got over it and did it anyway. Here’s an example:
Admitting she survived not only a brutal rape at the age of nine, but constant episodes of sexual molestation between the ages of 10 and 14, as well as a series of physical abuse, she explained she had to believe in a ‘power greater than herself’ to get through the traumatic ordeal. That woman went on to become the billionaire herself, Oprah Winfrey, just one example of someone who had every reason NOT to believe in herself but did anyway.
4. Be more grateful. In chapter one of my book called Vibrational Money Immersion, I give an assignment at the end of the chapter to create a list of 100 things you are grateful for. Almost without exception, those who struggle to come up with 100 things to be thankful for struggle with being present and with self acceptance. Practice makes perfect.
Fun in Labadee!
5. Change your posse. One of the biggest, yet missed, benefits of being in a network marketing company is you get to be apart of a group that has hope and is uplifting. Attend every major event your network marketing company puts on and allow yourself to at least temporarily suspend your disbelief. It is VERY difficult to build your self confidence at home, by yourself, or around people that you feel don’t believe in you, this makes it way more important to stay around the flagpole by attending events and being around people that WANT you to have success.
6. Build Your Hero. My sons play a lot of video games and in Halo you can build your own character. It can have green armor with a red visor or yellow shin guards with blue-plated breastplates. You can do the same. Take the time to write down exactly who you want to be. What traits do you want to have, what will people think of you, what will be at the core of your being. To help you in this you may wish to review my video on Be, Do, Have
7. Be OK with you. Know that everyone has past mistakes, everyone has made bad decisions, but so long as you have blood running through your veins (I don’t think I have too many zombie readers) and a beating heart, there is hope. Know that whatever you have the courage to want, you have the capacity to learn how to accomplish. Stop the negative thought and the common desire to focus on the things you don’t want and turn toward the light, turn toward your dreams and turn on the part of you that so wants to come out and strut it’s stuff!
I truly hope that these tips help you with self acceptance and building confidence and self esteem. Feel free to share these tips with anyone you feel might gain benefit.
To Your Abundance!
Did This Blog Help You? If so, I would greatly appreciate if you commented below and shared on Facebook
Ray Higdon
Author of VMI – Think and Grow Rich for Network Marketers
Skype: ray.higdon
Email: RayHigdon@RayHigdon.com
Work With Me – Numis Network
Image(s): FreeDigitalPhotos.net
PS: Short Promotion from Dr Robert Anthony on How to Deliberately Create (60% off here)
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Great post. I was lucky to have parents who built my self confidence.
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Ray Higdon Reply:
February 2nd, 2013 at 7:09 pm
That's awesome
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thank you for that another blog sir ray.ur helped me a lot of my mlm company now.thank you so much for caddying us.:D
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Nice post. a few things to add.
1. Focus on past successes. Nothing beats doldrums and lack of self esteem than remembering previous success.
2. you can’t put a picture of 2 beautiful women like that and make it where we can’t click to make it bigger!
3. Kim? Who is she!!
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Ray Higdon Reply:
February 2nd, 2013 at 10:37 am
1. I have seen that be dangerous unless done very, very specifically. Too often people dwell on past successes keeping them away from current struggles but if you can capture who you were BEING when you were successfully creating, then yes, it is powerful
2. Sorry =)
3. One of my good friends girlfriends, sorry again! lol
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Thanks for sharing this Ray. It has been such a joy watching you develop over the last few years. And your posts like this always help me on my journey. The industry is lucky to have you !
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You left out having a work out program. Take care of your body and your mental health. It will make every thing you listed above just that much easier to do!!
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Ray Higdon Reply:
February 2nd, 2013 at 10:45 am
You are totally right! Agree 100%
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Great post as always, Ray!
A lot of people unconsciously practice self-sabotage in their business or whatever project they’re working on because deep inside their subconscious, they don’t believe they’re worth, deserve it, or just simply don’t want the responsibility that comes with success.
In my experience, the #1 culprit hasn’t been the fear of failure, but rather, the fear of success.
Success demands change and people are afraid of change. The person that we have to become in order to be successful is a responsibility many don’t believe they can handle or one that they just might not want to undertake.
I believe one of the biggest differences one can make (right off the bat) is to ‘change your posse’
The people we choose to be around will drive us to go in one direction or the other.
Thanks for the post, Ray
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Ray Higdon Reply:
February 2nd, 2013 at 11:01 am
Agree with you, there are certainly more people afraid of success
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Having a feeling of confidence is nothing more than the lack of insecurity. We where all born with all the confidence we will ever have and all we will ever need. No one can build thier confidence, that is false. Admit were you feel insecure. Handle your insecurities and you will automatically feel confident. But remember, it is very easy for all of us to develop new insecurities thus weakening the feeling of confidence. Think of confidence like superman and insecurity as kryptonite. Kryptonite weakens superman but remove it and he is strong again. Admit your insecurities and the truth shall set you fee.
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Fantastic blog! In more ways than one!
Happy to share! 
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Nadia Söderman Reply:
February 2nd, 2013 at 6:05 pm
Although admittedly not a nice picture. But a good blog anyway!
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Great information, Ray!
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Amazing information Ray… Will be sharing this…
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Hey Ray I actually Love affirmation and do use them daily, I have never heard of The non-traditional way taught by my buddy Noah St John, As soon as I am finished commenting I am heading on over to check this out. It does make sense though when you are constantly telling yourself things that are not valid or not believable it can be a challenging to actually make them your reality.. Thanks for 7 Steps to Building Confidence and Self Esteem! You never cease to amaze me… Chery
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yep good stuff – even donald trump goes down – he has filed bankruptcy 4 times? and he seems to rise above it all – why? he's full of himself i.e. no self doubt in that man. when I read that the other day it was like a light bulb……harry potter author……down and out and suicidal now look at her………..thanks.
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Ray Higdon Reply:
February 2nd, 2013 at 6:32 pm
Glad you like!
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Love it! Self-esteem and self-confidence that's the MAJOR key that changed everything for me
Awesome-sauce Ray.
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Yep I had a temporary problem coming up with 100 things to be grateful for at first..got stuck on 69. but by the end of day had about 103.
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Thanks again for all your valuable content Ray..
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Well I got stuck on 69 things to be thankful for but by the end of day had over 100! haha almost lost my confidence! thanks again for all your great content Ray! posted also to FB
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Thank you, thank you, thank you! Know that you are truly making a difference.
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I think I can! I think I can! I think I can! YES! I got this!
Of course I didn’t say the affirmation as loud and as excited as I could, until after I looked in the mirror and accepted myself as I am. LOL! Great stuff! Good Day! HF
P.S. If you noticed Ray, I took the “I think I can!” from one of Brian Tracy’s tapes he has on this very same subject. :0)
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Regarding affirmations vs afformations, using a combination of both have worked for me. I believe telling your subconscious mind your are something and then asking it to prove why is very powerful.
Either or both work great.
Anything beats the incessant thoughts of “I cant do that”, “I’m not enough” etc.
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great message keep a positve attitude by reading it me than once.
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Very strong blog here Ray. Love the points #3 and #7 the best. Reading about how people got through their struggles can be very motivating while letting yourself know that you are not alone. Also, be good with you.Accept your quirks and cherish them. It takes a while to do this, but it is worth it. It's not easy, but it is much better.
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Your post hit the spot for me every time. Thanks Ray.
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You are a rock star! Thank! Great post. Interested in looking into Landmark. sounds very interesting, especially in light of what it did for you!
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Thank you so much for this Ray I think I’m going to have to read this a couple of times, but today I really needed to hear it!
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Ray,
You hit the nail on the head forums. Do you know of any sources available to build self-esteem and confidence ?
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Amazing post Ray…..Keep up the great work you do for us.
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As usual Ray great great insight. Most importantly practical DAILY application Action speak louder than words Grateful for your body of work Enjoy!
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As usual Ray great great insight. Most importantly practical DAILY application Action speak louder than words Grateful for your body of work Enjoy!
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Great post Ray, thank you for sharing.
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Great tips as always.
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Thank you Ray another great blog and for all the information I am so thankful and grateful also have a great sunday you and your family.
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I agree with what Dale said above. Having a good work out program can really help boost one’s self confidence. If you look fit on the outside, the chances are that you’ll feel good on the inside.
Thanks for sharing, Ray. Awesome stuff!
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Thank you for this article it has changed my mindset. I'm feeling different right now.
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Thanks for the 7 steps and insight Ray. Building Self Confidence and Self Esteem is a challenge we all struggle with from time to time. What I have learned is that GREAT people have overcome tremendous obstacles through maintaining their confidence.
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“There can be no real self improvement until you have self acceptance” wow that is good! Nice article!
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Great information. I love the movie the Wonderful Life. Yes as stated by Clarence in life each one of us touches another’s. We are all given a great gift called life. We are sponsoring an event in Sacramento called “Beating the Odds” featuring incredible people who defied the circumstances of their youth to become successful leaders.
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